Mourn

Dedicated to anybody who has ever lost a grandparent.
Rest in peace to my grandpa John Spear.
They’ll name the streets after you.

Written and performed by Dylan Owen
Featuring Chanele McGuinness, Regina Zaremba
Produced by Skinny Atlas
Music by Skinny Atlas, Dylan Owen
Violin played by Gabe Valle
Live bass played by Nate Sander
Recorded at Sweet Sounds NYC
Additional recording in Dylan’s apartment
Mixed by Jason Moss
Mastered by Chris Gehringer
Single artwork by Dylan Owen, Tom Flynn

I know it's cloudy in heaven tonight
I know it's cloudy in heaven tonight
I know it's cloudy in heaven tonight
I know it's crowded in heaven tonight

My grandpa always had the worst posture
And he still bent over backwards for us
If he could see my lack of work ethic now
He would probably say I'm asking for it
The angels came to take him out of Orange County
To finally tell him that his battle’s over
Well I'm convinced that not every last goodbye
That we have has to be a tragic moment
Now that we're older no one’s here to lift the casket for us
No one’s here to tell us how to hold it
It's just a balancing act between the sadness we have
And the amount that we keep at our shoulders
Me and all my little cousins broke down

After the mass was over, standing at the altar
I'm just thankful we had him always

I'm just thankful that we got to know him
Me and my crazy grandpa followed that roadmap
Down the entire east coast
I slept like a child,
My head against the seatbelt
Knowing when I woke up we'd finally be close
Enough to Virginia where I figured was my promised land
And in the winter must be where all of the green goes
My grandpa said the rosary,
And talked about the traffic on the radio
That day and how it seemed slow
I don't pretend to know the steps that we walk
But we all have someone special we've lost
And we never look ahead anymore,
Instead we just mourn, so can we just...
mourn.

Let's mourn all the time we've killed
In an old café where it's always pouring rain against the window
I can hardly talk the way we always used to, so I just get over it
And follow the breadcrumbs home again
I know that they might lead me off
Somewhere different this time around
It's all I've got, just a little bit of light left for the unlit road

I've always had the worst posture, and I know where I got it from
My mom's side always had a lot of fighting Irish stories
And a whole lot of forgotten ones
When the devils finally take me out of Orange County
They'll have to drag me out of it
They'll find me with my hands in my pockets
Walking down the highway, just wandering around again
Cause dying isn't like the movies
It isn't a decision
Where the body disappears in something physical you witness
Where the person that you love goes into critical condition
And the local priest shows up to give him his confession just in time
Nah, you don't get that, instead you get a whole bunch of mishaps
A whole bunch of
I wish I did this or did that
Or said this or hugged him harder on his deathbed
My grandpa John was a printer, he was born with ink on his hands
So given the chance
When I write now I watch the ink spill on the page
And if I'm thinking of him it's like I’m bringing him back
Wherever he's been, I wish that I could listen again
Through every trip or event, he drove me to visit Anne
He left big shoes that I hope I can fit in the end
And be just like him and die with ink on my hands

No when I die I want to die with blood on my hands
And the blood it'll be yours, Grandpa
Cuz these days we never look ahead when we talk
Instead we just mourn, so once again can we just...
mourn.

Let's mourn all the time we've killed
In an old café where it's always pouring rain against the window
I can hardly talk the way we always used to, so I just get over it
And follow the breadcrumbs home again
I know that they might lead me off
Somewhere different this time around
It's all I've got, just a little bit of light left for the unlit road

I know it's cloudy in heaven tonight
I know it's cloudy in heaven tonight
I know it's cloudy in heaven tonight
I know it's cloudy in heaven tonight

I know it's crowded in heaven tonight
But can you let my Grandpa in?
I know it's crowded in heaven tonight
But can you let my Grandpa in?
I know it's crowded in heaven tonight
But can you let my Grandpa in?
I know it's crowded in heaven tonight
But can you let my Grandpa in?
I know it's crowded in heaven tonight...